The Young Justice: Animated Anonymous Fic Meme

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Prompt Post - Part Five [CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS]
yj_anon wrote in yj_anon_meme

Part one here!

Part two here!

Part three here!

Part four here!

Feel free to reprompt posts from parts one, two, three or four in part five once. If you do so, I'd recommend leaving a link to your fill on the original prompt, in case somebody is tracking the first thread.
Please note that you can still fill over at parts one and two- just don't prompt there! I encourage you all to go through looking for older things to fill.

Welcome to the Young Justice: Animated anonymous fic meme!

How does it work? Basically, you leave prompts, and people fill them with glorious fic. Pretty simple. Anonymity is allowed for those that feel nervous or awkward requesting or filling, but it isn't actually obligatory. Unlike a lot of memes (like kink memes) this doesn't have a particular focus beyond the fandom. Het, gen, slash, femslash, anything else you can think up? Welcome! Crack, drama, angst? Go nuts!

However, we do have some...

Rules and guidelines.

• Animated canon only, please. Crossovers are fine, so is integrating comics/etc. stuff into animated canon, but no outright Young Justice comic stuff, please.
• Be reasonable. Polite. Etc. You may be anonymous, but that is no excuse for being ridiculous.
• Likewise, be considerate in your prompting. Trigger warnings are appreciated (for content that may seriously upset people with past experience, such as rape/non-con, self harm, suicide, etc.- at the absolute least, please make it clear what the fic contains about before someone stumbles across it halfway through!), and please be careful with your wording. Memes like this often touch on some sensitive material. If you feel somebody has posted an actively offensive prompt, please either PM me or use the mod post here to bring it to my attention.
• One prompt per post, please!
• Repeat after me: Your Kink Is Not My Kink. Don't attack people's prompts because they aren't your cup of tea!
• Look, just don't wank up a storm in general. I'm sure we can all manage, right? :)

ETA: Please do not reprompt things until we reach a second part. In addition, I encourage anyone looking for things to fill to go back through previous pages. A lot of people have old prompts tracked, so your fills will still be seen!

This is the 'flat' view of the page; it shows comments in the order they're posted, rather than as threads. Makes it easier to see new fills on previous pages.

I'll look at getting a Delicious or Diigo or something-or-other archive up for filled prompts if it gets to the point we feel it'd be useful. In the meantime, have fun!

ETA: We now have a discussion post if you need one!

ETA: I need help with archiving! Also, we set up a fill post. Can you please leave links to any fic you write there. See the post for more details. Thanks!

ETA: GUYS. I am officially making the 'PM me about offensive prompts' thing obligatory. Please, I have difficulty keeping up without your wonderful help!

Incidentally, being polite includes not telling people they're being 'too sensitive' for being bothered by things. Just sayin'. This place is a safe space, in so much as I can make it one, and I don't really like the rhetoric of 'oh, if you're offended you're oversensitive' that I'm seeing in a couple places? Remember: people may have had different experiences than you that influence their view. Don't assume. :)

ETA: Since apparently it doesn't come under some of your definitions of 'civility':


I don't care if you hate that ditz M'gann, I don't care how much you think Kaldur is sooo boring, I don't care if you think Artemis is a bitch, I don't care if you want Wally to go die, I don't care how much you want Superboy to punch himself into oblivion or how bratty you think Robin is. This is not a place to ask for fic that is for nothing more or less than to satisfy said hate. We have and welcome fans of ALL CHARACTERS here, and it's just insulting and rude to tear them down.

And this is not the same as asking for a single prompt where they're AU and evil, or for a prompt where they mess up in some way, or even where they get called out on something they did if you feel it would make a good story. But come the hell on, guys.

ETA: Please see this recent post regarding certain issues we've been having. Thank you.

ETA: Are you offering anything for charity in the recent fandom auctions for relief efforts? If you are, feel free to promote/browse/etc. here!

ETA: New affilate - DC comics meme!

ETA: At several people's requests - rec post & general finding-things post!

ETA: New affilate - YJ kink meme!

ETA: Since part four seems to be going so fast- poll about the next prompt freeze!

ETA: Okay guys, the next freeze is going to be halfway through this part- at 2,500 comments or so. People have said they wanted it to be a little quicker coming this time! So, yes. And then we may or may not have one before the next part itself.


For the next few days, until the 19th June, DO NOT SUBMIT ANY NEW PROMPTS. Instead, why not try filling a few? We have so many wonderful ones left unfilled. Maybe try looking a few pages back! Or a few parts back, even!

On the 19th June, prompting will resume when I post the next part.

Thank you! And have fun!

In-progress Delicious account.

  • 1
5 times Superboy was caught wearing the other mentor's costumes, and one time he wasn't.

1/5: Halloween

When Young Justice gets their first invitation to the Watchtower, it's for a Halloween party. It's sort of ridiculous, and if they'd stop to think about it, they'd realize it's actually sort of offensive, but they don't stop to think about it, because it's also so cool.

Except M'gann. She doesn't get it. She knows all about Halloween--she's seen it on "Hello Megan!" Halloween is when the monsters come out and people put razor blades in apples and throw rolls of toilet paper on other people's houses. Why would the Justice League be throwing a party.

Wally's flabbergasted. Robin's just sort of sad. Robin loves Halloween. So he starts explaining it all to M'gann: about candied apples and trick-or-treating, about (fake) haunted houses, and, dressing up. M'gann listens with wide eyes.

Superboy listens too, though he hides his interest. Cadmus taught him about the sun and the moon and Superman, about gravity and momentum, but they didn't teach him about television shows or fairy tales, and certainly not about candy or dressing up or trick-or-treating. He was supposed to be a weapon, fully formed, and why would a weapon ever want to trick-or-treat.

Later that night he asks Wally: "Hey, KF, about this dressing up thing, we already dress up, every day."

"Yah," Wally answers between shoveling ice cream into his mouth, "but the point is you're supposed to dress up like something else."

"Like what?"

"Oh, you know, something scary but cool. I went as a vampire last year. I'm thinking giant robot this year."

"Huh. Ok."

Scary but cool? Superboy knows just what he's going to wear.


It turns out, the Justice League knows how to throw a party. Superboy's never had a better time, ever. He doesn't know what could be better than Halloween.

Except Robin's been sulking in the corner all evening long.

"What's with Boy Wonder?" he asks Kid Flash, who's dressed like a giant robot.

"Robin looks forward to Halloween every year because that's the one night a year he gets to wear the Batsuit. You stole his costume dude."

"But he's still wearing the Batsuit!"

"Nope. It's not the same. Besides, it's always lame if two people have the same costume at a party."

Apparently that's another thing the Genomorphs forgot to teach him.

Re: 1/5: Halloween

Requesting Anon here! I adore you!

Thank you so much for filling this! :D Aww, poor Robin. I wonder what the real Batman was thinking in the background (if he even went to the Halloween party XD)

Re: 1/5: Halloween (Anonymous) Expand
Re: 1/5: Halloween (Anonymous) Expand
So cute and perfect - scary and cool, indeed! :D

2.1/5: Placeholder

Superboy's learned not to expect that people (Superman) will recognize when he does a good job or saved the day, so Superboy doesn't care. Robin only cares about one person's recognition, and Robin got a "Job well done" from him, so Robin's happy. M'gann and Kaldur are just glad that Star City's still on the map. And Artemis, of course, Artemis can't complain. She and Green Arrow are getting the keys to the city.

But Wally? Wally's fuming.

"See, it's things like this that make me think Speedy's right. No one takes us seriously. They're not going to take us seriously until the Justice League takes us seriously. I mean, seriously, if it weren't for us Star City would be a radioactive wasteland right now."

"Come off it KF," Robin says. "We're not in this for the glory. We did a good job. If we'd done a better job, they wouldn't even have found out about the bomb."

"But still. They did know about it. We saved all their lives. And it's Green Arrow who gets all the credit. Artemis just gets to tag along because she's his sidekick! They're giving Green Arrow the keys to the city! What did he do? He shot a couple of arrows! Speedy can do that. Even Artemis can do that. Can Green Arrow go invisible to sneak past the guards? Can Green Arrow hack the terrorist's mainframe to figure out where the bomb is? Can Green Arrow punch through six-inch steel to get to the bomb? Can he freeze it to make it stable enough to move? Can he run it to Star Labs 60 miles away in under five minutes with just enough time for scientists to stabilize the core? No! He's just some dude who shoots arrows! LAME! And he gets the keys to the city! I burned through the soles of my shoes!"

Finally, Wally stopped for breath. He caught a glance at Robin's face. "And, he's standing right behind me? Isn't he?"

"Yep, and he does not look whelmed."

Finally Green Arrow speaks. He's only been there for the last few seconds of Wally's rant. "Listen, I'm not thrilled about this either. I really wish the City Council hadn't insisted on it."


"Because the Mayor of Star City needs to give me the keys."

"And?" Wally doesn't get it. Neither does Superboy, but he keeps quite. Artemis slaps Wally over the head.

"And, Oliver Queen's the Mayor!"

"Oh!" Wally gets it. Oliver Queen is also Green Arrow.

Robin giggles. "That's why Batman stays out of the limelight."

"That's why I'm here. M'gann, your uncle's the one who normally covers for me, but there's an urgent matter which requires his attention. Do you think you'd be able to pass as me?"

M'gann blushes. "I'm not as advanced as Uncle J'onn, but I'll try."

Three hours later, and M'gann's still trying. She's finally gotten the beard down, but she just can't get rid of her two beautiful breasts (Superboy doesn't know why she'd want to get rid of them).

So it's Robin who comes up with the solution: "Superboy's about the right height and shape, can't we just put him in the costume, add an inch in the heels and do some fancy wig-work?"

"That's not a bad idea," Green Arrow agrees.

2.2/5 : Placeholder

That's how Superboy ends up, dressed in green with a scratchy fake beard on his face. Robin it turns out is a genius at disguises: looking in the mirror he can't really tell the difference between Green Arrow and the reflection in the mirror.

That's how Superboy ends up accepting the keys to the city he helped save. There are so many people gathered, they're all so happy and they're cheering, clapping! It feels good, wonderful to be appreciated. It doesn't even matter that it's not really him they're cheering (and really, it is him they're cheering, because if he hadn't punched through half a foot of steel, this city wouldn't exist).


It's hours later and he hasn't taken the Green Arrow suit off. Wearing it, just... it feels like the applause of a thankful city. But finally, he realizes, he has to take it off, and go back to being him. So he gets up off the couch and turns of the TV. But before he goes, he decides to grab an apple. He washes it.

Suddenly there are hands on his waist and a mouth at his ears. He can't believe he didn't hear her coming. The hands move along him, down. "Saw you give yourself the award. Pretty hot. Which one of you was J'onn?"

That's when her hands get to where they're going and his voice decides to break: "N...Neither."

Her hands fly off him. He turns around to see shame and embarrassment on her face. For once he's caught her unaware and he's the first to recover.

"See you tomorrow, Black Canary." He says it calmly, with disinterest, like nothing's happened. Like he says most things when he isn't angry.

On the way to his room, he swears, he can hear Robin's creepy little laugh all the way from Gotham.

Re: 2.2/5 : Placeholder

I absolutely love that you slipped in SB/M into the story.

Oh god, bad touch!Canary. XDDDD

This fic is becoming gorgeous. Thank you for writing this!

Re: 2.2/5 : Placeholder (Anonymous) Expand
Re: 2.2/5 : Placeholder (Anonymous) Expand

3.1/5: Red and Green

Superboy has super hearing, so he can hear them, even though they’re whispering four rooms away. Their voices, still, are low and muffled. It takes him an few seconds to make out the words. He realizes they’re arguing, and when he realizes who’s arguing, his heart leaps into his throat. It’s Superman and Batman.

Superman has never been in Mount Justice before.*

“Young Justice is a black ops team. I need them to infiltrate—

“No. Young Justice is my black ops team. If I recall correctly, you’ve wanted nothing to do with them. Fine. Good. This mission is too dangerous. They’re not trained yet. It’s also too important. This calls for finesse and subterfuge—my strong points, not yours. If we send them gallivanting in, the whole thing is going to blow up in our faces. This isn’t some fringe terrorist cult or rogue state; it’s Luthor. If he catches a whiff of our involvement, he’ll know we’re onto him and all the work we’ve been doing for months will be ruined. Worse, it might be a public relations fiasco.”

“I’m so sick of you treating me like an idiot. Get over yourself, Bruce, just because you have a fortune and fancy gadgets at your disposal doesn’t make you better than me. Luthor is my enemy. He’s from my city. I don’t tell you how to deal with the Joker, and you don’t tell me how to deal with Luthor.”

“Fine. Go marching in yourself. Take any league member you can find. Go. But Young Justice is my team. You don’t take them anywhere.”

The conversation goes silent. He doesn’t know if they’re still there. He doesn’t dare check. But he wishes Batman would have let them go on a mission for Superman. Maybe if Superman saw him in action… then maybe… but he doesn’t dare think it through, because every time he thinks about it, his stomach flutters and flies in his torso, and then it always plummets down. He turns on his side and tries to fall asleep. It’s a long time before he finally dozes off.

3.2/5: Red and Green

The next day, he asks Robin who Luthor is. Robin, he thinks is the most likely to know. But apparently, they all know.

“Luthor’s Superman’s worst enemy. He’s a corrupt business man, has his hand in all sorts of dirty business, selling weapons to rogue states, criminals, probably outright terrorists. Superman and the League have been aware of his activities for years now—Luthor’s tried to assassinate Ms. Lane several times, he almost killed Superman once. He’s the only person other than Darkseid who’s ever made Superman bleed. Superman know’s he’s guilty, but Luthor’s slippery, there’s always a thousand middle men between him and the incriminating evidence, and he’s never taken the fall. The League can’t make anything stick, so Luthor stays out of jail and king of Metropolis.”

“Wait,” it’s M’gann who asks the question, because Superboy’s too startled to ask it, “Superman’s invulnerable, how’d Luthor almost kill him?”

“Kryptonite,” Kaldur explains. “A little green rock. We think it’s from Krypton. The radiation is poisonous to Superman.”

Superboy wonders when the G-Gnomes were going to teach him about that. He wonders if Kryptonite could kill him too.

“Robin,” Superboy says, “Batman and Superman were arguing yesterday about Luthor—they were debating sending the team in.”

KF’s eyes go wide open. “Seriously? They’re thinking of sending us in after Luthor? Hey, maybe they do take us seriously after all.”

“Wow,” Robin says slowly. He’s hacking into the League’s files on Luthor. “This is big.”

Wally’s besides Robin in a second, staring at the screen. It’s filled with names and numbers. “What’s it mean?”

“It means, Luthor may have screwed up. Under fifty levels of dummy corporations, Luthor wrote a check to Talia.” Robin says it like it’s important, but for once, no one else seems to know who he’s talking about. He looks around in disbelief. “Talia al Ghul.”


“But that means, Luthor can be tied to the Shadows.” Kaldur says.

“Yes. Probably.”

“Probably? What probably?” Aretmis asks.

“Talia and Ra’s had a break recently. It may be nothing.”

“What happened between Talia and Ra’s?” Artemis asks.

“Talia shot at him.”

“Why? I thought she loved her father,” Artemis asks.

“Yeah, she does. But he was going to kill Batman.”

“And?” Superboy doesn’t understand.

“And, Talia likes Batman. Which, you know, is kinda weird and gross. But whatever, maybe Talia’s reformed and he’s just helping her get back on her feet, or more likely, he can argue that he was trying to help her get away from her father. It might not be enough to incriminate him. I think the League would need to know more.”

Superboy lights up. “That’s why Superman needs us to go in! He wants us to get the information from Luthor.”

Robin looks up. “Superman wants us to go in? That means Batman doesn’t want us to go in.”

“Yeah,” Wally answers, “But Batman probably didn’t want us going in to Cadmus, and look how that turned out.”

“No,” Robin says. “Luthor’s a big bad. This isn’t enough, and if we go in, he’s going to notice. He’ll know something’s up. That’s why Batman doesn’t want us going in.”

An argument breaks out. Superboy and Wally want to do it. Robin and Kaldur think they should wait. They take it to a vote, which means it’s up to the girls. Artemis, after some persuasion votes nay. Then it’s up to M’gann: she can tie them up if she votes yay.

Her eyes meet his. They’re serious and sad.


He feels something in his gut, and he imagines that’s what being punched feels like.

Angrily, he turns away and marches to his room. He slams the door shut and cracks the wall.

3.3/5: Red and Green

Hours later, a knock comes at his door. He doesn’t answer.

“Superboy?” It’s M’gann. “I know you’re in there.”

“Go away.”

“Look, I… I know why you wanted to go investigate Luthor, but, it’s not, I don’t think it would do any good. He’s either going to come around or he’s not.”

He doesn’t answer, but he wishes he could punch a hole through the wall.

When he hears another knock, he goes up to open the door, ready to tell M’gann off, but it’s Wally, suited up and ready to go. Wally rushes in and shuts the door behind him.

“So, I’ve been thinking. We voted on whether the team would go investigate.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“But, we didn’t vote on whether, we, as individual superheroes could go investigate.”

Superboy sees where this is going. He smiles.

“See my friend, that’s the beauty of loopholes.”

“So, let’s go.”

“Not so fast—can’t believe I just said that—but anyway, Batman doesn’t want it to look like the League’s involved. I get that. So, if you and I show up, it’s going to look like it’s Young Justice there. But, Luthor did some bad stuff in Central City a while ago—if the Flash and I are there, it’ll look like we’re there for payback.”

Wally hands him a red costume.

“Have you gotten your super speed yet?”

“I… yes, a little bit, I’m not nearly as fast as you or Flash, but, I’m getting pretty fast.”

“How many miles can you run in a minute?”

“Twelve, at least for a little while.”

“At your fastest?”


“That’s so slow. But it’ll do. The human eye probably won’t be able to tell the difference, and it’s not like Flash always runs at the speed of sound.”

Superboy nods. He looks down at the red costume in his hands.

“Why do I always end up wearing other mentor’s costumes?”

Wally shrugs. “Eh. Long ago I learned to stop questioning these things.”

3.4/5: Red and Green

Coming alone, without telling anyone, was probably a bad idea, Superboy thinks. He and Wally are stuck, their legs mired in three feet of a substance which has been specifically designed to keep them from being able to run.

Luthor’s come out, and Superboy is shocked to see a simple bald man in a business suit and tie. He doesn’t look threatening at all.

“Flash and Flash Junior, eh? I had hoped the League would send Superman, or at the very least, Batman, but I did think it prudent to account for all eventualities.”

“We’re not here on League business. Since you came all the way to Central last year to give us a present, we thought we’d come and return the favor.”

Luthor turns to KF and smiles. “Ah, and I’m supposed to take the word of a snot-nosed brat? I send the League a red herring connecting me to the Shadows, and you just happen to decide to bother me within the week?”

“You know Flash, I think I’ll do you a favor. Marcy, shoot the brat.”

Without a word the woman behind Luthor lifts a gun and points it at Wally’s head. Using every bit of strength he has, he breaks free from the floor and bounds in front of Wally. The bullet bounces off his chest.

Luthor lights up. “Superman! You did come. I knew you couldn’t stay away. But why dress up like that clown? Did you think you’d fool me? I’m hurt. Let me see your face. I’ve got a present for you and I want to see you when I give it to you.”

The game’s up. He removes the mask.

“”Sorry Luthor, you’re not worth Superman’s time either.”

Luthor frowns. “Superboy. Superman sends me Superboy? What are you? His bastard? I’ve seen him, how he squirms around you—he can’t stand you.”

Superboy sees red, and he’s ready to punch right through Luthor’s skull, when suddenly, he feels weak, and he feels pain. He’s never felt anything like this. He can’t stand. He thinks he’s going to puke, but he hasn’t got the energy.

“Did I hit a nerve, Superboy? Maybe I will give Superman a present after all. Marcy, there’s been a change of plans. Knock out the Flash’s brat. I want to run some tests on his anatomy later. As for Superboy, I think I’m going to give him all the attention Superman won’t.”

Superboy thinks he might hear Wally struggle, but he can’t really hear anything. His vision is going in and out of focus.

Suddenly something hits him hard in the gut. Luthor’s kicked him, hard. The guy’s longer than he looks. Again. And again.

Luthor stops. He kneels down beside him and grabs him by the hair. “I think I’d like it better if you were wearing that ridiculous letter. No matter.”

“You’ve only been around for a year or so. Have you seen Kryptonite?” Luthor brings the little glowing green rock to his face. It’s just a tiny little sliver, faintly glowing, but the green light is blinding. “It’s a little bit of home. You know, home is where the heart is. Where the S is supposed to be.”

Luthor grabs him, he’s barely conscious already, and begins to rip the costume open, exposing his chest.

“I’ve never actually seen what happens when he touches this stuff, you know,” and he presses the little green rock to Superboy’s chest, right over where his heart is. He screams. The shock almost startles him into awareness. He’s never felt anything like this. It must be what it feels like to die. He hears sizzling. His heart is rushing. His heart is weak. His heart is failing.

3.5/5: Red and Green

“No, no, don’t die too soon. I can see why Superman doesn’t like you. You’re weak. Probably a disappointment.”

Luthor takes the Kryptonite away. Puts it in a little black box. It’s amazing, almost immediately he can breathe again. Within a few seconds his heart is beating as it should. Within five minutes, he can get up. He looks down at his chest, where the green rock was. There’s an ugly angry scar there, his flesh has bubbled up.

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Ah. So at least you have a backbone. I don’t think Superman could ever do something like that.”

Luthor claps twice. The lights change and suddenly the room is red. “Do you like it? Clap on, clap off. Of course, it only works if I clap.”

Superboy doesn’t know what Luthor’s talking about. All he knows is that he’s going to kill him. He runs to Luthor—slowly, the Kryptonite hasn’t worn off yet—and punches him in the face. Luther takes it. He doesn’t even move.

“Not very strong without yellow sunlight, are you? Weak and stupid. No wonder Superman doesn’t like you.”

Luthor punches him, right in the jaw, and he falls to the ground. Luthor is strong, and right now, he’s weak. It’s a good thing he’s learned how to fight stronger opponents. He’ll have to thank Black Canary later. But Luthor isn’t one for losing. The minute it looks like he’s not helpless, Luthor takes out the Kryptonite again. And that’s how it goes, for hours, it’s pain and relief, pain and relief, pain and relief, until it’s too much. Then it’s just pain, and finally nothing.

A/n This isn't the end of part three, just the end for now, because I have to study for finals (and I love cliffhangers--what?).

I am the OP anon! (Anonymous) Expand
Re: 3.5/5: Red and Green (Anonymous) Expand

3.6/5: Red and Green

It’s the light that wakes him up. It takes him a few blinks to realize that he’s actually surprised to wake up—for a second there, he didn’t think he was going to. Then panic sets in. Luthor.

But then he sees it: a bright orange ball of molten fire, large and blinding against the darkness. Sun. It’s an image the G-gnomes had implanted in his brain. The sun without a sky. That means space. That means the Watchtower.

And that makes him angry. Angry, because apparently, he’s only invited to the Watchtower when he’s not himself or when he’s nearly dead. He roars in frustration and tries to move. But he can’t, he’s strung up—naked save for a small white brief—looking at the sun. And that only makes him angrier. He pulls, and pulls, and pulls, until, finally the manacle gives way. A loud beeping sound starts. He ignores it, or tries to. It’s amazingly bothersome. Just a little beeping—you’d think it was nothing compared to Kryptonite, but no, it’s just as jarring as Luthor’s voice.

The doors slide open and a woman covered from head to toe in a black suit rushes in. He lunges after her, but the idiot forgets to fight and holds him tight. “You’re alive! Thank all the gods of Mars!” And for a second, the anger subsides and he lets her hold him.

But then it bubbles up inside of him, again, “Who saved me?”


“Of course,” he snorts.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you glad?”

“Oh? Of course I’m glad. I’m alive. No thanks to Superman.”

M’gann stands still. Her face is completely covered by the black suit. He can’t tell what’s written on her face. She’s probably sneering. Except, M’gann doesn’t sneer—No. She’s probably sneering. He reaches out and yanks the mask off her face. She screams and covers her face and stumbles back looking desperately for the control panel. Her hands land on it, the door opens and she stumbles in.

He follows her, and when she removes her hands, her face is already blistering. She catches a glance of her face in the mirror, and then begins to sob.


Superboy leaves her shivering and crying, and takes the first Zeta-Beam back to the Mountain.

He finds Wally and Robin playing a mindless video game in front of the big-screen TV.

“Nice to know you missed me,” he says, voice low and dangerous.

Those two idiots don’t pick up on it. They just turn around with stupid grins on their faces. “Supey! Buddy! Good to see you!” Wally says.


Robin raises an eyebrow behind those stupid glasses. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If it was good to see me, you’d have been up in the Watchtower with M’gann, not here rotting your brains.”

“Buddy,” Wally tries to explain, “we’ve been going up there every day, but you’ve been out of commission for three weeks.”

“No. Of course, I understand.”

He understands these two idiots are pricks. He goes to his room and tries to sleep. But he can’t, every time he closes his eyes he can see and hear Luthor and that little green rock.

“What are you? His bastard? I’ve seen him, how he squirms around you—he can’t stand you.”

He punches the wall and leaves a small crater there. He’s not at full strength, not yet.

3.7/5: Red and Green

Superman wanted him to die. Superman wanted to send him to Luthor.

Batman didn’t want to. Batman wanted him to live. Batman saved him.

He fucking hates Superman.

- - -

When he goes to shower, he sees himself in the mirror. Angry pink scars decorate his chest. Each is the same size as Luthor’s green rock. Each has been lovingly and methodically arranged across his chest in the shape of Superman’s crest. It makes him sick—literally, he vomits into the bathroom sink.

Luthor has paid him more attention in a single encounter than Superman. He hates that stupid S.

He punches the mirror. It shatters and falls to the floor like a silver rain. It’s a good thing he’s invulnerable, or else the glass would cut into his feet as he walks over it. As it is, it just crunches under him.

3.8/5: Red and Green

He spends three days in his room, punching the wall and pretending it’s Superman, before Batman comes to see him. Of course. It’s always Batman who comes.

Batman wants to know how he’s doing.

“What does it matter?” he asks bitterly, “I’m just a weapon.”

Batman seems shocked. I guess there’s a first time for everything. “Superboy…” he starts, but he cuts him off:

“See, I haven’t even got a real name. Superman won’t give me one, and no one else has offered.”

“I… I didn’t realize you wanted one.”

“I don’t. What good would it do me? None of you think I’m a person. You’re no better than Cadmus.”

Batman reaches out, but Superboy brushes his hand away. “Don’t pretend like you care.”

“I understand you’ve been through a traumatic experience—but you should be aware that we care for you deeply.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He rolls his eyes. Something he picked up on TV. “You won’t even let Robin tell me his real name or show me his eyes.” Then he drives his fist through the table. “And Superman, I’m sure you’ll tell me he cares about me too.”

Batman is silent on that point, which only makes the rage bubble hotter.

“Superman wants nothing more than to be rid of me. He wanted to send me to a man who he knew had Kryptonite and was willing to use it! And like an idiot, I went.”

Batman opens his mouth to answer, but he doesn’t want to hear it. It’s bullshit, all of it, so he runs out of the room as fast as he can. It’s probably only 8 miles an hour, but it’s fast enough to outrun that loser, Batman.

Robin avoids him for the rest of the day, until he can’t. Black Canary’s let it be known that he’s got to get back to training. Fat load of help that did him against an opponent with Kryptonite and red sun lamps. But, he has to go. But he needs to find a shirt. In a moment of rage he tore up the stupid black one with the stupid S on it, and he’s not going out without a shirt. No way are those idiots seeing his scars.

There’s nothing in his closet except that silly Batman costume and the Green Arrow one. He can’t believe he used to think Batman was cool or scary. But he sees the Green Arrow costume, and suddenly he gets an idea. So he puts it on, and waits.

It’s not long before Canary comes to him. He opens the door, and pulls her in to a kiss. She struggles against him, but even weak like this, he’s still ten times stronger than she is. When he’s had his fill, he lets her go, and the look of outrage on her face is precious.

“What?” he asks, “You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself the last time I wore this costume, I thought I’d just give you what you wanted.”

Black Canary looks too angry to speak. Then, “Don’t come to training tonight, or tomorrow, or ever, you can rot.” She storms off, and all his teammates who were looking on in the background look mortified.

3.9/5: Red and Green

The next day, he gets a visit from Superman.

At first, Superman looks uncomfortable, unsure, but as he gets closer, his face hardens.

“I don’t ever want to hear about you pulling a stunt like that again,” he spits out, “or by Ra boy, I will teach you a lesson.”

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever Superman, you’re not my father.”

Superman smiles nastily. “That’s right. I’m not your father. I’m glad someone finally gets it.”

Superman turns to Batman, and then loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, he says, “This is bullshit, Bruce. I’m not the brat’s father. I shouldn’t have to deal with his crap.”

For the first time ever, Batman looks stunned. Superman walks away and doesn’t look back. Superboy is glad. Or he would be, if he weren’t fighting off the urge to murder Superman. It’d almost be worth it, being exposed to Kryptonite, if it meant he could kill Superman.

- - -

When he gets sick of being ignored by everyone, he just leaves the HQ. He bounds all his way to Metropolis. He needs to get new shirts, right now, he’s making due with the Batman costume’s shirt turned inside out. He goes into the first store he sees, and then picks out what he likes and walks out. The store alarm rings and a security guard asks him to come back inside. Superboy grabs the door, yanks it off its hinges, and throws it twenty feet away.

“You really don’t want to fuck with me.”

The guard looks like he agrees. Superboy takes off his shirt, and the guard can’t help but stare.

“What are you looking at?” he asks, and the guard just scuttles away.

He puts on one of his new shirts.

He doesn’t make it very far, however, before the big blue boy scout comes down, out of the air. From the distance, Superman looks confused, but as he comes closer, Superboy can tell that it’s not confusion on the Man of Steel’s face, but a look that he knows all too well, because it’s the same look Luthor had when he pulled out that little green rock.

“I knew you were a worthless piece of shit,” Superman sneers.

“I’ll show you worthless!” Superboy roars as he rams himself into Superman with all his might. It’s enough to knock Superman off his feet and into a brick wall. But faster than a speeding bullet, Superman gets off his feet and returns the favor. Superboy leaves a dent when he gets up.

That’s how the fight begins. Superman’s punches only hurt a little at first. Then they begin to hurt more and more.

“You’re no different than Luthor,” Superboy spits out. Superman hits him straight in the jaw, and Superboy feels it pop out.

Superman hits him again, and he falls to the floor. Then again, and suddenly there’s a crater under him. Sometime during being pummeled by Superman, Batman arrives. The Man of Steel doesn’t even notice until Batman calls out, “Stop, Superman, you’re going to kill him.”

“That’s the intention,” Superman answers as he lands another punch. Superboy stumbles backwards.

Batman sees Superman isn’t kidding and jumps into the fray, just low enough that Superboy can barely make it out, Batman whispers, “You’ve got to stop. This isn’t you.”

Superman shoves Batman out of the way, carelessly and with two much force. Batman flies backwards and collides with a wall. He slides down and doesn’t get up. Superboy hears Robin give out a cry of anguish and sees the Boy Wonder rush to the Dark Knight. Batman isn’t moving, and blood is beginning to trickle down his face. Robin cries “Get up, get UP!” Then he whispers, “No—not you too,” and after no answer, he plugs his wrist computer into Batman’s utility belt. “Come on, come on.”

Superboy realizes Superman isn’t kidding. He really is going to kill him. He barely misses another punch, but then Superman lands another one, and another one. The ground gives way under the force of Superman’s fists and they fall into the sewer. It stinks, but Superboy can barely notice.

Superman is going to kill him. And now, for the first time in days, anger subsides as fear and desperation take over him.

He is going to die.

And then, he feels it, and he thinks Superman has done it, Superman has killed him. But in the last moments of consciousness, he sees Superman fall too, and someone who looks suspiciously like Robin holding something that looks suspiciously like Kryptonite.

3.10/5: Red and Green

He wakes up in the Watchtower infirmary again, but this time he’s in a bed wearing a white robe. A man wearing bandages all over his body (some sort of Egyptian-themed hero?) stands up and walks to the bed. “How’re you feeling,” he asks, and it’s only by voice that he recognizes the man as Batman. He’s got bandages all over his head and chest, foam around his neck, his leg is in a cast, and his arm is in a sling.

“Like crap.”

“Language,” Batman chides.


Then he remembers everything. “Oh God, I’m sorry, so sorry. God, I acted like a complete creep.” He buries his face in his hands.

“Yes,” Batman acknowledges. “But, it wasn’t your fault.” Batman shows him a picture of some red crystals. “I took these out of your body. Luthor put them in there—my guess is he used the green Kryptonite to breach the skin and lodge these in your body. I should have thought of it, but I was too busy trying to bring you back from the brink of death and it took me a few days to think of it.”

“What are these?” he asks.

“Red Kryptonite. It’s substantially rarer than Green Kryptonite, and so, not as well understood. As far as we know, it only impacts the mental capacities of Kryptonians. You were under its influence, and so was Superman when he got near you.

“That’s why he said and did all those things.”

“No, he said and did all those things because he meant them. Red Kryptonite doesn’t create bad feelings. It just makes them worse. Everything I did under its influence, I felt it, it was me.

“Superman did want me to go to Luthor. He did want to get rid of me.”

“I don’t think so. Superman wouldn’t wish what Luthor did to you on his worst enemy.”

“He didn’t come to rescue me—

“He didn’t know you were there. I only knew to go to rescue you because Robin realized you and Kid Flash were missing and was smart enough to put two and two together. And, by the way, when you’re better, we’re going to have a serious talk about stupidly going into things, especially when you don’t have the full team for backup, and especially when you know I don’t want to send the team in.

“But for now, there are people who want to see you.”

Batman almost smiles. He gets up and limps to the door and opens it. M’gann, Wally, Robin, Kaldur, Artemis, all flood in. They jump on his bed—each looks so happy to see him, it makes him want to cry. Even Black Canary is there, even though he acted like a jerk. He starts to try and apologize to each one of them, but they won’t let him. They understand, it wasn’t his fault. All they want to do is hug him and be glad that he’s finally going to be ok.

Superman isn’t there. But really, that’s alright.

A/N: That's the end of Part 3. Sorry I reused a costume, but really, how more out of line can you get than kiss-raping Black Canary while dressed as Green Arrow?

Hope you enjoyed it!

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4.1/5: Present


Two months go bye before Batman finally gives Superboy the lecture he promised. It’s enough time for Superboy to almost forget about the whole fiasco with Luthor, but when Batman lets it known, through Robin, that he wants to talk to Superboy and Kid Flash, alone, he knows the talk is finally coming.

Batman greets them from behind a desk, he’s sitting down, chin resting on his hands, and his face is completely unreadable. Batman just sits there, for several minutes, staring at them through slit eyes. Finally, he smiles. It isn’t a pleasant smile.

“Well,” Batman says finally, “I think congratulations are in order.”

He gets up, and Superboy can’t help but think that the reason this has been such a long time coming is because Batman wanted to be properly healed so he could look intimidating. Superboy doesn’t understand how Batman can be so utterly terrifying: he’s only human, and he’s one of the good guys, maybe, Superboy thinks, the best. Still, Batman’s the third scariest thing in the world, right after Superman and Lex Luthor.

Batman presses a button, and two brightly wrapped boxes are lowered from the ceiling onto the desk. One is very thin and very long, the other is about a cubic foot. The long one is wrapped in green and purple, the other one in red and black.

“To celebrate this momentous occasion, I’m giving you each a present.” He picks up the long green and purple box and hands it to Superboy. He hands the red and black one to Kid Flash.

“Open them.”

“There’s not a bomb in these, right?” Wally asks nervously. Batman just glares at him.

Superboy tries to look through, his X-Ray vision is coming in, it’s still very weak, but it could probably see through wrapping paper. Except, Batman has wrapped it in lead, and not even Superman can see through that.

“Unwrap them,” Batman orders, so they do.

They’ve been given a crutch and a neck brace. It doesn’t take a genius to guess whose crutch and neck brace. “You two boys helped put me in the ICU. It’s quite an accomplishment. You’re now members of a select club that includes people like the Joker and Harley Quinn.”

Superboy swallows. He’s never met the Joker, but he knows what sort of monster the Joker is.

4.2/5: Present

Batman presses the button again and a monitor turns on behind him. “These are all the crimes that happened in Gotham while I was out of commission.” He presses the button again and three pictures flash on screen: Poison Ivy, Two Face and the Ventriloquist. “These are the villains who escaped from Arkham during that time.” He pushes the button again, the villain’s faces disappear. They’re replaced with the picture of a beautiful blonde girl who looks to be about Robin’s age. Batman doesn’t offer clarification, he just presses the button again, and the picture changes: the girl is now lying lifeless on the floor. Two holes mark her torso with bright red, and her hair is splayed out on the floor.

“Her name was Mary Kay. Two-Face shot her dead during a bank robbery while I was in the ICU.

“When we screw up, people die. You two, almost died.”

“What?” Wally starts to argue, but Batman shuts him up with a glare.

“Luthor ordered Mercy Graves to shoot you. And I think we’re all aware of the fact that Superboy was in a coma for three weeks, and then again for another week after the red kryptonite incident with Superman.

“It’s been incredibly bad publicity for the League, and especially for Superman and me.

“But still, we were lucky this time. Lucky Superboy was able to get out of Luthor’s trap and take that bullet for you, Wallace, lucky Robin was clever enough to figure out that you were missing, and that you were dead, lucky that I was able to think of the red kryptonite, lucky that Robin was able to hack my utility belt and get the green kryptonite out.

“We won’t always be lucky. Not everyone has super strength. Not everyone has super speed. Not everyone is invulnerable. Some of us bleed when we get hit by a bullet, and if we bleed enough, we die. Some of us break when we fall from a height.”

“But none of that applies to us!” Wally pleads.

“If I prick you, Wallace, you will bleed. All men are mortal. Even Superman can die, all it takes is 20 grams of green kryptonite a meter away for three days, and Superman can die. Once the machine breaks down, there’s no putting the ghost back into it. Not all of us can outrun bullets. Robin can’t outrun bullets. What if you had managed to talk Robin into going with you? Mercy has two hands. Superboy wouldn’t have been able to stop both bullets. What if Robin hadn’t called me in? He almost didn’t, you know, he didn’t want to get you in trouble. What if he’d gone in after you?

“I cannot allow this team to continue if its existence endangers the lives of its members through shear, reckless idiocy.

“You’re supposed to be a genius, Wallace. You can’t allow yourself to be stupid, not when you’re dealing with people like Luthor.”

Wally doesn’t say anything. His face has gone deathly pale and his eyes have a strange shine to them.

“Both of you are hereby banned from all costumed heroing for a month. You will not be joining Young Justice on missions, and you, Wallace, will not be joining the Flash, or otherwise donning the Kid Flash costume; the Flash has agreed to this arrangement. If I find out that you’ve so much as sneezed superfast over the course of the next month, I will disband Young Justice.” Batman smiles his creepy smile, “And before you get any ideas in your head, remember, I’m Batman and I will find out.”

“What about Superboy?” Wally asks.

“I’m glad you asked. It’s none of your business. You are now dismissed. You are to collect anything you may need for the next month, and then you are to leave for Central City immediately. The Zeta Beams will be blocked for you until your punishment is over.”

Wally looks like he’s going to be sick, but he doesn’t say anything. He just gets up and leaves. Then it’s just him and Batman, and he wonders what Batman will say to him. Batman can’t take the costume away from him. It isn’t a costume. Batman can’t kick him out of Mount Justice. He has no where else to go.

4.3/5: Present

Finally Batman speaks: “If you would like, you can continue to fight crime.”

“I’m not in trouble?”

“Yes you are Superboy, but I can’t help you get out of the trouble you’re in. Besides, I think you’ve been punished enough.”

“Is that it then?”


“Why did you make Kid Flash leave?”

“Because he would think I’m letting you off easy, and I didn’t want to have to explain to him that he almost got you killed.”


“Also, I wanted to tell you something.”


“There are some things in this world that are worth dying for.”

“I know that.”

“Superman’s affection is not one of them. Superman will like you, or he won’t. It has nothing to do with who you are, and everything to do with what you are. You can’t change what you are, and changing who you are won’t help. You should try to better yourself for your own benefit, but you should be aware that it won’t make Superman like you more. Which is too bad for him, really, because some of us like you just fine.”

- - -

Several days later, Superboy finds a wallet on his desk. Inside it’s got a hundred dollars in crisp twenties, and a note. It says simply, “Open the closet.” He normally doesn’t bother with the closet; he’s never known quite what to do with it since he hasn’t really got all that many clothes. However, when he opens it, he finds it’s full of clothes. He pulls a shirt out and tries it on. It fits like a dream. So does everything else. Whoever picked the clothes out has impeccable taste. He wonders if it was Batman.

There’s even a suit. He’s seen men wear suits, and it only takes him a little while to figure out how to get it on. The tie is another story (he has twenty now, apparently, and he’s picked out a blue one that matches his eyes). After a half hour of contending with the tie, he’s frustrated beyond belief. None of the boys are at the base however, so there’s no one to ask. He decides to ask M’gann anyway, because on her shows women always know how to tie ties for their husbands.

He knocks on her door, grasping the blue tie in his other hand.

“Just a moment,” she says, and then she opens the door. She looks up at him, apparently caught off guard and stumbles back. Her eyes are wide and her green skin is getting that familiar pinkish tint that makes her look so pretty.

“Superboy, you look nice,” she says.

“Thanks,” he answers awkwardly, then hands her the tie he’s managed to crumple. “I think Batman sent me these clothes, but I don’t know how to tie a tie. I thought maybe you did?”

“Oh!” she cries out. “Yes. I’ve seen them do it a million times on television.”

She takes the tie and loops it around his neck, standing on her tippy toes to reach.

As it turns out, M’gann doesn’t know how to tie a tie either, no matter how many times she’s seen it done on TV. But Superboy doesn’t mind. Somehow, having M’gann fumble with his tie for two and a half hours isn’t nearly as bad as trying to figure it out on his own for thirty minutes.

Finally, however, it’s dinner time, and M’gann’s stomach rumbles.

“Oh, I guess I’m hungry,” she admits, embarrassed. “Are you hungry? Maybe I should make dinner.”

“Actually,” Superboy says, “whoever sent me the suit also sent me some money. I was thinking maybe we could go out to dinner? You know, go to a dinner later?”

“Dinner and a movie?” M’gann blushes. “Sure. Let me just, you know, get dressed.”

It takes her all of two seconds to psychically alter her clothes into a nice little black dress. She changes the color of her skin to match his and her hair transforms into a pony tail.

Superboy is stunned. At least until she grabs his arm and ushers him to the Zeta Beam teleporter.

- - -

4.4/5: Present

Wally is not whelmed when he gets back.

“I leave for a month and you steal the love of my life? Not cool Supey, not cool.”

Artemis elbows him in the rib. Robin just giggles.

Superboy shrugs as curls his hand into M’gann’s gorgeous red hair.

- - -

He twiddles his thumbs anxiously. Superman would have been better, not because he particularly wants to talk to Superman, but because Superman would know. But he hasn’t got Superman’s phone number.

Batman shows up exactly on time, as expected.

“You wanted to talk with me?”

“Yes. But, um, could we go somewhere private?”

“Yes. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, but it’s a little awkward.”

Batman raises an eyebrow, but then he just says, “Let’s go for a ride.” He turns around and Superboy follows Batman to a sleek black car. It must be the Batmobile. Batman gets in and then opens the door for Superboy. He gets in and Batman begins to drive.

“So, what’s on your mind?” Batman asks.

“My mind…” Superboy sighs. “The Genomorphs, as you know, taught me much. They taught me to read and write, the names of things. But there’s also things they didn’t teach me about at all.”

“Go on.”

“Like cookies, for instance. They taught me to recognize several brands of cookies, but they didn’t, they didn’t teach me what cookies tasted like, or what they were made of, or how to enjoy them. Like, you know, Robin had to teach me that the best way to eat a chocolate chip cookie is to dunk it in milk. Wally was the one who taught me about splitting oreos and licking the frosting off.

“I guess Cadmus saw no utility in my knowing anything about the best way to eat a cookie. Weapons don’t get cookies.”

Batman just nods. His face is inscrutable, and if Superboy didn’t know that Batman was Batman, he’d think maybe Batman hadn’t been paying attention. But then Batman take a left and drives into a dead end, and Superboy realizes that Batman was paying attention and probably knows where this is headed.

“So, the Genomorphs taught me about, well, you know, zygotes and gametes, but not anything useful.”

Batman nods, turns the car off, removes his seatbelt, and then opens a compartment in his utility belt and takes out several pamphlets. And then, with all the patience in the world, Batman explains everything about sex.

After three hours, Superboy is glad he doesn’t have Superman’s number, because he can’t imagine that Superman knows half the awesome things Batman knows.

- - -

The first time it happens, it’s a complete accident. M’gann, lost in the throes of pleasure loses her grasp on her form—she reverts to her authentic Martian form, and then quickly, in a desperate attempt to regain a humanoid shape, she ends up looking like a girl form of Kladur. Superboy’s never thought about the possibilities before, but he’s also never been so turned on.

It becomes part of their love making: M’gann loves role-playing. It’s like TV. Once, she dresses up in a huge green dress and asks him to call her Scarlett so long as she can call him Rhett. The first time she asks him to dress up, she asks him to be Zorro, and he has to admit, he likes the cape and mask.

It’s not far from there to being Batman. He still has the old costume. M’gann asks him to wear it, and then she ambushes him dressed in skin-tight purple latex and cat ears. “I’ve been a bad gurrrrrrl,” she purs, and the low trill of her voice is enough to get him hard.

“You’ve taken something that doesn’t belong to you,” he says sternly.

“Oh?” she walks up to him and lays her head on his chest. “Would that be… your heart?” She traces over his left breast where his heart is, and he can feel it beating harder, like it wants to get out of his chest.

“No. That was always yours.”

- - -

4.5/5: Present

He looks at himself in the mirror one more time. He barely recognizes himself under the green face paint. M’gann is so often human for him, he wants to be Martian for her, just this once. He’s told her, he’s giving her a surprise, a present, but he hasn’t told her what.

M’gann can change the color of her skin and the number of arms she has at will, but he’s resourceful, and Robin knows how to do makeup.

The gesture backfires.

When he opens his door to her (she’s wearing a trench coat, and he assumes, very little else), she takes one look at him and begins to cry.

In less than ten seconds, she’s sobbing inconsolably, and he has her pressed to his chest trying to get her to stop. It takes fifteen minutes for her to be able to string together a sentence.

“That’s what you looked like when Batman brought you in—sob—you were green from the Kryptonite poisoning, and—sob—your heart had stopped beating. I’d never been so afraid in my whole life. I thought you were dead.”

“Oh, M’gann,” is all he can say as he holds her close and strokes her hair. And they just sit like that for hours.

Finally, M’gann laughs. “Besides, you look like my uncle, not my kink.”

- - -

Robin is almost sixteen now. His voice has deepened, he’s grown taller (he’s almost as tall as Batman), and his shoulders are broader, but deep inside, he’s still a little kid, and it’s clear that he’s doing everything he can from bouncing off the walls as he and Batman enter Mount Justice.

“Superboy, you’re here, good,” Batman says.

Superboy just nods.

“Robin has brought it to my attention that the anniversary of your arrival here is this weekend.”

A murmur goes around the group. They’d all forgotten.

“Robin wanted to throw you a birthday party, and I wanted to see if that would be ok with you.”

“A birthday party?”

“Yeah,” Robin answers. “We didn’t throw you one last year because of the whole ‘Luthor put you into a coma’ thing, but this year there’s nothing stopping us, and you should have a party, especially since you’re turning 18.”

“But, I don’t have a birthday.”

“Stop arguing,” Wally interjects, “there’s going to be cake!”

Superboy shrugs. “Ok. Whatever.”

“Good. The actual anniversary is this Friday,” Batman explains, “but, unfortunately, I have a prior obligation. Of course, we can have the party on Friday if you’d like, but Saturday might be easier.”

Superboy understands what Batman is saying: If you want me to come, you’ll do it on Saturday.

“Saturday is fine,” he says.

“Good. Now, as to venue, there are a few places we’d considered. We can have it at Mount Justice, and you could invite everyone in the League, possibly a few external friends, if you wanted. Or, we could have it on the Watchtower, but then only League members would be allowed. Of course, we can always just rent out a restaurant.”

“Oh!” Wally cries out, “You should totally do it at the Iceberg Lounge!”

Batman sends KF a glare, and that shuts him right up.

Robin clears his throat.

“And,” Batman adds, “there’s one more option. We could have it at the Batcave. However, that would mean that only the members of Young Justice and their respective mentors would be allowed to attend.”

Wally runs up to hug Superboy.

“I change my vote, I change my vote! Pick the Batcave, pick the Batcave!”

Superboy doesn’t need Wally to urge him. He picks the Batcave. Batman nods, that’s all he wanted. He gives them a new assignment, and then he leaves.

“Does this mean you can tell us who you are?” Wally asks Robin.


- - -

4.6/5: Present

So, it turns out, getting to the Batcave is a logistical nightmare. Every member of the team, except, of course, Robin, has to go through an extensive security search and patdown, and then they need to be knocked out, transported via Zeta Beam, and revived once inside the Cave. It also turns out that it’s totally worth it.

None of them, except ironically Robin, are whelmed. They’re all overwhelmed. The Batcave is enormous, and it’s filled with things. So many wonderful things. Including a dinosaur and a giant penny.

“How’d he get the giant penny?” Artemis asks.

“Two-Face tried to kill him with it,” Robin shrugs, like it’s nothing out of the ordinary.

The mentors don’t have to go through the same grueling process. They’ve all been to the Cave before. Superboy thinks they may actually know Batman’s real name (Superboy suspects his real name is Bruce, since Superman called him that once, but he doesn’t want to follow that lead).

It’s not like the Watchtower Halloween party. It’s quiet and nice. Wally was right. There is cake, and the cake is so good it’s totally worth the ridiculous security. There’s another guest, just a man wearing a tuxedo and a domino mask. He appears to be a servant of some sort, he’s giving out hors-d’oeuvres. Certainly, he doesn’t have any superpowers of any sort, except maybe the superpowers of exceptional politeness and amazing cooking. The man in the tuxedo offers and hors-d’oeuvre to Batman, who turns it away.

“Master Batman, if I may enquire, what was the last time you ate?”

To avoid answering, Batman grabs a popcorn shrimp and tosses it in his mouth. Both Flashes stare in shock. That’s a third superpower: the ability to bully Batman.

Then the time for presents comes.

Kaldur gives him a fish that glows in the dark.
Aquaman gives him a set of scuba gear.

Kid Flash gives him a collection of vinyl records.
Flash gives him a chemistry set.

Artemis gives him a biography of Jor-El, written by Lois Lane and Clark Kent.
Green Arrow gives him a leather jacket.

M’gann gives him a Frank Sinatra CD, on which she has highlighted a single song: “The best is yet to come.”
Martian Manhunter gives him some sort of ancient Martian weapon.

Robin gives him a complete set of Justice League action figures.

And then there’s Batman.

Batman simply hands him a 1-inch binder. (Maybe it’s a Batbinder—there’s a bat icon on it).

He doesn’t really understand, until he opens the binder.

On the first page there’s a little card. On it are typed the words “Connor Jones” and below that a number: “131-11-6317”.

The binder is filled with documents: a birth certificate, a passport, forged medical records, transcripts, and last, but certainly not least, a check book and a credit card.

Superboy’s throat closes up.

“You got me a name.”

“Do you like it?”

He doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything, he just hugs Batman.

“He got you a social security number?” Artemis asks. “How’d he manage that?”

Robin grins. “Nothing little hacking into the SSA wouldn’t fix.”

“Isn’t that illegal?” Wally asks.

“It’s like downloading music, it’s only illegal if they catch you.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

He lets go of Batman.

4.7/5: Present

“There’s one more thing,” Batman says. “Superman couldn’t come tonight, but he sent a gift. He bought you a car.”

Batman presses a button on his utility belt and a distant corner of the Cave lights up. There’s a brand new red convertible there. Superboy—now Connor—is confused. He doesn’t quite know what to do with a car (he can just kiss the sound barrier now), and he doesn’t understand why Superman would send him a present but not come to the party. He’s about to open his mouth to say as much, when M’gann says how much she likes the car, and how she cant wait to go for a ride in it.

“Can I take it for a ride right now?” he asks Batman.

“Do you know how to drive?” Batman asks, surprised.

Sup—Connor stops to think for a minute. “Yes. The Genomorphs taught me how. I have no idea why.”

Batman nods. “In that case, go ahead, but I’m going to request that I be your first passenger, just to make sure everything goes well.”

Connor nods. It sounds like a good idea. So he takes Batman for a spin in the Cave (Batman won’t let him leave, but there are miles of tunnels underground), and then M’gann and the rest of the gang.

Later that night, M’gann proves that she was right. The best was yet to come.

These birthday things are awesome.

A/N That's the end of Part 4. I screwed up and put in two costumes. I'm sure you'll forgive me. One more chapter to go, and the non-costume. I think I took the turning green from kryptonite poisoning from Superfriends, don't know if it happens in other places too.

Also, because there was some confusion last time, if a person is speaking for several paragraphs, there'll be no quotes at the end of the Paragraph, so for instance:
"Batman speaking.
"Batman still speaking."
"Now someone else is speaking."
"Batman again."

Hope you all like it!
Also, I typed this out in word and realized too late that all my italics were eaten. Sorry. I'm jet-lagged.

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5.1/5: Hero

Robin rides the R-Cycle at top speed right through the zeta-beam port, which Batman has told him not to do about a hundred times. He jumps off the bike and runs into the TV room. “Turn on MNN! Turn on MNN!”

They’re watching an old Godzilla movie, and Wally protests. “Metropolis News Network, really Rob?”

But Robin takes a remote from his utility belt and switches the channel to MNN over Wally’s protests, but Wally shuts up as soon as he sees the news. Lex Luthor’s scowling face is plastered across the screen and Conner flinches back reflexively. A female newsanchor is providing commentary: “Lex Luthor has been arrested…”

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